Looking at the list of all those medals got me thinking. Photos of him with European kings and queens and celebrities. Hobnobbing with European royalty and ruling-class types. Then I wondereed whether he just ever hung out with the regular non-rich, non-royal citizens of his own country. It is quite natural that kings will hang with kings, which beyond the issue of Selassie is my problem with kings. How well do they understand and take to heart the struggles of their people? Rhetoric and speeches are one thing, and actions another. I am thinking it ironic I am sad to say that ones who identify with the struggling people of this earth would choose to worship an earthly king. In the 20's in Jamaica when people were desperate to resusitate black identity, it is most understandable, but today there are many great examples of African role-models, who put their lives and bodies on the line for the liberation of Africa, who did not have fine things and live in palaces, but hung close to the people, and suffered what they suffer. I don't really know if Selassie was more Europe-centered than he was Africa-centered, but he spent lots of time besides the war in Europe being entertained by the high and mighty.

I am not judging, I am going with my gut and moving beyond an irrationality I had in my thinking for many years. I think it is healthy to always stay questioning in the mind and heart. It is easy to to find oneself doing mental backflips trying to rationalize one's faith. I remember the little while I tried to get with Paul in the N.T. I mean I really tried. But it just did not work. I am glad I tried. I am glad I stopped trying and found my true savior within.