Self-Realization or Self-Denial
by Christine

"INTEGRITY OR RACE FIRST?"
It takes integrity to understand racism and all forms of privileges.

The memory of our past history is so long forgotten, the mind literally goes into a comatose state and can remain in that state, never fully experiencing the orgasmic purpose of life, unless fully awaken.

With this awareness, one can either choose to remain in their coma/sleep, or one can choose to be awakened through conscious development.

Conscious development, is a very careful and deliberate awakening of the REAL SELF, that can only be REALIZED through the trusted wisdom and guidance of the chosen Universal "GOD and GODDESS."

It is no accident or coincidence one becomes ready for Self AWAKENING. However, our real life experiences are necessary, before the yearning to be awaken, beings.

Only then will the Universal force, rightly position one on the pathway that leads to the door of our MAKER. It is very important to understand that it is only with a limited degree of Integrity and humility one can get thus far. The REAL WORK comes after one is invited in and not vice versa.

Once the SELF begins to awaken, many shifts in attitude and conduct usually take place as part of the NEW learning process. Ones willingness or unwillingness to trust the guidance of the "WISE ONES" will determine either SELF REALIZATION or SELF DENIAL.

Each shift is a crossroad, and one can either choose to safely cross with guidance, or blindly and carelessly cross alone and pay the consequences for their own ignorance and arrogance. Either way, the price/prize will be high. One is always free to choose.

Without fully realizing that I was facing a major crossroad of which I blindly attempted to cross by myself because of my own lingering White history of ignorance and arrogance, I was confronted with the painful truth of a major contribution in the molding and conditioning of my present history that needed to be addressed in order for me to step into a higher level that can only, bring me closer to becoming one with my REAL SELF AND MY GOD AND GODDESS.

Never before was I aware of how even as a child, I was unconsciously developing the history of my white privileges. My question was, how can that be? After all, I was only a child with innocent intentions. (HA! Children are always underestimated, even when it is detrimental to them SELVES.) Well, it was at that point, for the first time, I really saw the magnitude of what being White really means. Then is when I also saw for the first time, both past and present White history played out right in front of me. What was never taught in any school for obvious reasons, came down on me like torrential showers in the right season, for the purpose to clean away the debris that built up around the river banks, that causes flood and becomes dangerous to the people and the environment.

The truth came RAW and PAINFUL, both physically and spiritually after I saw the ugliness of what I had become. I did not spare nor denied any emotions, especially anger and jealousy. The fact that I was a white woman, angered me further. The worst emotion was the fear of being disconnected from the energies, that saved my life from hell. To be disconnected will be as good as dead. I had forgotten where my help was coming from, and was totally unaware that I was OUT OF PLACE. To see the bigger truth in what it means to KNOW YOUR PLACE, is to reach the point of humility. I knew the time had come to be cleansed from my poisonous past and present history of unmerited privileges and so much more due to the color of my skin.

Whites/Light skinned people (children including) usually choose to either bully others into getting their way, or INVADE and take what they want. The INVASION is often done boldly and callously, or subtly. The wars are perfect examples of the former. The latter, is Whites/Light skinned people who are invited for various reasons, in a more dominant culture or in a more personal and private environment eventually end up trying to control the people and the functions of things in the environment. No doubt, attempts will be made to justify the WRONG action with facades of a barrage of instances, as a means of distraction from the real issue, (White privileges.) Typical, isn't it?

Many people are still in their comatose state, hence the reason they are so far removed from being able to see the magnitude of White supremacy/White privileges/White dominance and the copious amount of damaging effects it has on Black Africans. Understandable, but definitely not acceptable, UNDER NO CONDITIONS. Not as long as change is possible. Not as long as people have choices.

Too many people are clueless of the consequences of their own unwillingness to help in reconstructing the road that we walk on in order to redirect the flow of a destructive history. Anyone choosing to remain asleep are in fact choosing to continue to contribute to keeping White Supremacy alive and by extension, also keep the injustice towards Black Africans alive as well.

Fear of Black Africans as leaders, is the biggest struggle Whites/Light skinned people are faced with today. Why be afraid? If something is good for one, it must be good for all, then sharing becomes natural. Clearly, that fear is the unconscious result of a long history of the deeply rooted EVIL act, of an injustice towards Black Africans. The thought of sharing or having their White privileges taken away from them, is what sends them reeling into a frenzy of BLOODY WARS AND MUDERS, RAPES, INVASIONS, you name it, it has already been done.

Only when one becomes aware of this truth, it becomes easier to recognize when others try to distort the history. People should very carefully check themselves before jumping into unfamiliar areas. Without a guide, one can get LOST very easily, stay LOST without knowing how to work with nature until eventually, expire from the earth. Life will go on.

The tools for learning are only limited to the ones who place those limits on themselves.